April 26, 2004 - 9:53 p.m.

Hello.

.Beauty Queen speech?
 "I want to become a world renound expert on Tang 
Dynasty poetry.  I want to run fast and eat 
bananas, relax in the shade drinking Chinese tea. 
I want a picnic with clinking ice in the glass and 
a late night coffee and mcvittee.
  i want to be BULLET PROOF!! and walk up to thugs 
in the street and give them a playful kiss on the 
cheek.  I would walk down dark alleys fiddling with 
my ipod, then fly to iraq and work for world peace.  
Step into the firing line bullets pingpINGping off 
me; 'now then guys, dont be nasty to each other', 
take out my ipod 'Colonel Kentucky have you heard 
the new Walkmen album?' pingpinGpingg 'i bought it 
on the strength of the single 'The Rat' but im 
finding the rest of the album a little hard to get 
into.  Pitchforkmedia.com says their extreme lack 
of urgency is enthralling; but is it, Kentucky, is 
it?'"
        !
       O                   Its not bravery because
       _--__                  i'm bullet proof
      /  USA _______     0
    __|_______|------'   < |>
.  //------------\       /|
....____________/       , . 





Before, writing this kind of thing felt slightly 
liberating.  Now I look down the page and feel 
queasy.  I'll know i've grown up when I stop all
this bullshit. 

-===========--=-=-=--=------------ -  -     --
Sitting on my bed in the halflight. Laptop on lap.
Listening to Jeff Buckley 'Live a l'Olympique' on 
headphones feeling emotional.  
    Emotional enough to make me jump when my roommate 
    bursts in. Rushes in and rushes out.(and why not?)
'Thankyou for giving us so much!' shouts a strong 
French accent in the crowd.  Strangely moving.

If you knew the exact day you are going to die, 
would you act differently?  Even if its 'mar16th 
2064 aged 80'.  You'd always know how many years 
you had left 
'what can i cram into my remaining 30 years, 10 days?'

I feel like i'm living as if i've got time to waste.
As if i'll live forever.

You're young. Go grab something, you'll be old soon.

My new favourite song is 'What's the frequency 
kenneth? by REM.  Its about an old guy trying to 
understand the young.  Apparently its from an 
otherwise mediocre album called Monster.  I cant 
find it to download anywhere.

'i remember when i was your age' 'you're only young 
once' 'maybe you'll understand when you're older' 
'youth is wasted on the young'  'It wasnt like that 
in my day...'
         is this my day?




.Je N'en Connais Pas La Fin (i dont know the end of it)
This is the Edith Piaf song Jeff Buckley sings on
'..a l'Olympia' (a show in Paris, i think).  He 
only sings the chorus in French, but the applause 
when he does makes me smile every time.  The verses
are an adapted english version about a fair ground.
This is the original French version with a 
translation by me.

Depuis  quelque  temps  l'on  fredonne,  for some time people have hummed
Dans  mon  quartier,  une  chanson,      in my neighborhood, a song
La  musique  en  est  monotone           the music is in monotone
Et  les  paroles  sans  façon.           and the words are not fancy
Ce  n'est  qu'une  chanson  dus  rues    its just a street song
Dont  on  ne  connaît  pas  l'auteur.    whose author is not known
Depuis  que  je  l'ai  entendue,         Since I heard it
Elle  chante  et  danse  dans  mon  coeur.it sings and dances in my heart

{Chorus:}  
Ha  ha  ha  ha,  
A  mon  amour,           oh my love
Ha  ha  ha  ha,  
A  toi  toujours,        to you always  
Ha  ha  ha  ha,  
Dans  tes  grands  yeux, in your wide eyes  
Ha  ha  ha  ha,  
Rien  que  nous  deux.   only the two of us 

Avec  des  mots  naïfs  et  tendres,      with naive and tender words
Elle  raconte  un  grand  amour           it recounts a great love
Mais  il  m'a  bien  semblé  comprendre   but it seemed to tell me
Que  la  femme  souffrait  un  jour.      that the woman would one day suffer.
Si  l'amant  fut  méchant  pour  elle,    if the lover was nasty to her
Je  veux  en  ignorer  la  fin            i dont want to think how it would end
Et,  pour  que  ma  chanson  soit  belle, and for my song to be beautiful
Je  me  contente  du  refrain.            im happy to refrain

{Chorus}  

Ils  s'aimeront  toute  la  vie.            they will love each other all their lives
Pour  bien  s'aimer,  ce  n'est  pas  long. to truely love each other, that's not very long
Que  cette  histoire  est  donc  jolie.     how pretty this story is
Qu'elle  est  donc  belle,  ma  chanson.    How beautiful it is, my song
Il  en  est  de  plus  poétiques,           There are more poetic ones
Je  le  sais  bien,  oui,  mais  voilà,     I know that well, but there we are 
Pour  moi,  c'est  la  plus  magnifique,    for me, it's the most brilliant
Car  ma  chanson  ne  finit  pas.           because my song doesnt finish.


 
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